Why do Couples who used to Love each other Intensely Fight?
Any pact or agreement involving two or more people can go sour at any time. It’s common for differences to occur which may arise due to in satisfaction of one party, differences in principles or beliefs held by a party as true, decision-making problems, domineering by one party etc. These can cause problems and cause the relationship between the parties to lie between a rock and a hard place.
The issue of who’s wrong and who’s right are normally present in such situation. In such a case there’s need for a common ground to be found between the two parties. A win-win situation needs to be reached if at all both parties are to live in agreement and harmony in more.
At times, things can go out of hands and the end result is the annulment of any pact or agreement earlier reached.
Marriages and relationships are no different. There are many incidences where couples fight, exchange blames or nasty words at each other because they don’t seem to agree on certain issues. This animosity may result to anger; desperation hatred or it can extend to the severing of such relationship or marriage if a common ground/agreement/solution is not found.
This situation is most common to newlyweds who may be severely affected by such indifferences because they normally fail to understand how the love they cherished as a couple and it ultimately led to marriage had swiftly faded away.
The storm is also common in old marriages where the couples might have tried to save their marriage by settling their disputes but a time comes when they all get fed up. Hell breaks loose and the most imminent solutions seems to be a break up. They may have all along been living under one roof but not as a couple anymore but as total strangers until they decide that enough is enough and they may resolve to call it quits.
There are incidences where couples live under one roof, not because they share any common grounds/interests any longer but the do so for the sake of their children who may have been caught up in the tussle. The situation becomes marriage out of convenience .This may go on for some time till the children are old enough. The children may notice this, but usually have slim chances of initiating any reconciliation.
Let’s face it, such occurrences are numerous today. Because of the shattered dreams and the lack of love, desperation and self-blame is usually creeps in. The situation is very painful, disappointing and stressful. The couples may get consumed by anger and hatred and this effect is normally passed to the kids who will be raised in an hostile family with no proper love or guidance.
Is there any hope for such relationship?
Most couples may yield and succumb to the pressures of divorce or separation because the pain may be unbearable and also because human nature dictates that we give up and walk away from our losing situations. We may feel that the right thing and the best favor we can do ourselves is to surrender and retreat.
That’s where such a couple goes wrong. Giving up is never a solution and should be embraced as a last resort. Mature couples are supposed to face the situation boldly and address the root cause(s) of the differences.
How do you go about it?
In any shared living amongst married couples, conflicts which arise are normally not because of the fading or lack of love amongst them, but due to the misunderstanding about what a love relationship entails and how it should be handled so as to hold love steadfast towards each other, to treasure and to cherish one another.
As a matter of fact, conflicts are the basis and foundations on which love stands and endures. When such couples realize and understand that conflicts are meant to strengthen love and yield to a deeper understanding of each other, such a relationship will endure everything and the couples will live happily thereafter with no threats or break-ups or separation or divorce.